Help Stop Kitty Porn! 

You may not be aware. But yes. It's out there. With the simple click of a mouse (and how ironic is that?), millions of surfers each day happen upon it, whether by chance or on purpose.
Monday morning during coffee break. Tuesday afternoon, perhaps while entertaining a client. Saturday night at 2 am. During recess. Perhaps in the middle of that all-important school assignment that may have meant so much to a young child's future at Microsoft someday, debugging the myriad of non-functional programs offered lately. Maybe while searching for that ever-elusive cure for programs that only work right when the user is wearing an orange leotard beneath a polka-dotted fuchsia wonderbra, and standing on one leg while hitting the Enter key.
 It doesn't care when. It doesn't matter. Kitty Porn is here, and it'll rear its furry head whenever the opportunity lends itself. But fear not. You can help.
In the unlikely event you're not fully familiar with this problem, I've prepared some background information, and after having read it, I'm sure you'll agree: Kitty Porn must be stopped, before it litters the world with filth.
 
 

 
Interracial sex is a common theme in Kitty Porn; here a couple enjoys a quiet moment together between acts on stage.
 
 
 

One morning I was checking my e-mail when I received what appeared to be an innocent ad for leather goods when suddenly a small logo at the bottom caught my attention: "Member of the Don't Spay, Let Us Play" Webring"  At that moment I knew I was on to something and began to investigate. How did they get my name? Who was sending me such an offer, though I always turn off my cookies when searching for National Geographic jpg's? How could they tell I was of age, and not some innocent second-grader just looking up cheat codes for Doom II? They couldn't, and I knew it. Thus began my undercover investigation into the seedy world of Kitty Porn.
 

  A shameless pair of feline lesbians,  readily viewed at an undisclosed internet site
 
 
 
 
 

I was shocked at the ease with which I was tossed into the underworld of naked pussies.
It was amazing. Even such innocent, everyday words like "fur", "muffin", "furballs", and "tomcat" would lead directly to the most hideous of sites, where naked cats abound. While many of the sites depicted older cats who could decide their own fate, it was obvious that many of them were recently weaned, some even still clinging to their mother's tail as they were shamelessly pasted across the desktop for all to see.
 It was horrifying. Some of the pictures were so explicit, they surely must have been taken by someone with formal veterinary training.
 

This young kitten was torn from innocence, only to be led to a life of sleazy Kitty Porn at the tender age of 14 months. Instead of spending long, sunny days lounging on a couch, she's working hard all night, couch-dancing with horny young tomcats.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Deeper research into the problem led down many avenues of information. My hard drive is now filled with thousands of pictures, serving as proof to all that disbelieve.
And for those who do believe, finding more is not very difficult. In fact, there are actually groups peddling this atrocious material that actually work together in large networks in an attempt to spread the evil. L'lfriskies.com was on of the most blatent offenders, complete with naked tabbies pasted throughout the site from end to end. nodon'tspayusjustpayus.com was another equally provocative sight, one to be avoided if you adore your Persian as it deserves.
 

   Don't let this happen you your cat- be sure to join the fight today!
 
 
 
 
 

During my investigation I found that even fellow felines sometimes enter the business, mainly for the ill-gained prizes of catnip and fat-free milk. While most of them are horny young alley cats, some Siamese and even Somalis have been known to muscle in on the territory.
 
 

"Rocko", a well-known kitty pimp relaxes in the morning sun. This fat cat lives high on the suffering of others, but feels no remorse for what he does.
 
 
 
 

Making love to kittens as young as six weeks, these ruthless studs portray their love, while a partner secretly snaps pictures from a hidden site such as under a couch, or from high up in a nearby tree. Of course the youngsters are rarely aware of the real scenario, as the sight a cat lounging around doing nothing for days on end is rather common. As the mating begins, the cameracat steals into position and takes full advantage of her innocence.
Sadly, even dog owners will soon fantasize over what they find as a result of his work.
 
 

 

 
I'm sure you're asking yourself by now what you can do to help. Sadly, the most commonly heard answer is "Not a damn thing."
Kitty Porn is obviously here to stay, and there's little if nothing that will change that. But, we can band together and let the perpetrators know we don’t like it, and wish they'd just go back to posting pictures of naked women wearing silk stockings and maybe a little bow in their hair or then again maybe a school girl outfit.  Or maybe some really short shorts with leather boots and one of those sexy cowgirl hats and--.

But wait, there is something that can be done, and you can help!  If you'd kindly send all your money*  to  this address:

"Help Shut Down The Kitty Club"
C/O Fritz Furpuss
99 Feline Ave,  BM
OU812

* Due to the high cost of maintaining this public service, all proceeds will actually be used to buy beer. However, for every thousand dollars donated, $1.66 will be used to help save the Dot-Coms.