Beer Quotes 

You can't be real a country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- Frank Zappa
 
 

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemmingway
 

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- W.C. Fields
 
 

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
- His reply

Sir, you're drunk!
- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;

Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
- His reply
 
 
 

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
- Oscar Wilde
 
 

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
- Dave Barry
 
 
 

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-  Ernest Hemmingway
 
 

Draft beer, not people.
- Unknown
 
 

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.
- Mark Twain
 
 

An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.
- Confucius
 
 

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
- Dave Barry
 
 

No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.
- The Duke of Marlbourough
 
 

For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.
- Shakespeare
 
 

When I read about the evils of drinking , I gave up reading.
- Henry Youngman
 

Please don't bother the brewer- he's ale'n enough as it is.
- Cappy
 
 

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
- Unknown
 
 

Not all chemicals are bad . Without chemicals such as hydrogen
and oxygen , for example , there would be no way to make water , a vital
ingredient in beer.
- Dave Barry
 
 

A woman drove me to drink , and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- W.C. Fields
 
 

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Humphrey Bogart
 
 

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
- Unknown
 
 

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
 
 

I don't know how people can drink coffee so early in the morning; I always stick with beer 'til at least noon.
- Cappy
 
 

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
- Unknown
 
 

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
- David Moulton
 
 
 

I drink to make other people interesting.
- George Jean Nathan
 
 

Friends don't let friends drink light beer.
- Unknown
 
 

When I heated my home with oil , I use 800 gallons a year. I have
found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over
half that quantity in beer.
- Dave Barry
 
 

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, sweat, and beer.
- Winston Churchill
 
 

Evangelical perfection cannot be conceived of without a strong dose of egoism, pride, toughness, and beer.
- Charles De Gaulle
 
 

The Beatles are more popular than Jesus, and beer.
- John Lennon
 
 

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
- Abraham Lincoln
 
 

There is to me something profoundly affecting in large masses of men following the lead of those who do not believe in men, and beer.
- Walt Whitman
 

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine - David Moulton
 
 

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin
 
 

He was a wise man who invented beer - Plato
 
 

Give me a woman that loves beer and I can conquer the world - Kaiser Wilhelm
 
 

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder - Anonymous
 
 

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. - David Daye
 
 

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? - Stephen Wright
 
 

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza - Dave Barry
 
 

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose - Deep Thought, Jack Handy
 
 

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer - Homer Simpson
 
 

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